I did not write a story during this decan. Unlike my experience with other decans (whose posts are forthcoming), I did not outline a story, either, or feel connected to anything resembling the true beginning to a story that I could tell. While reflecting on the imagery, associations, and themes that I associate with this decan, I collided face-first with a pretty undeniable block of doubt, anxiety, and more doubt about how to enter a story that reminded me of the Ten of Swords (the tarot card I associate with Gemini 3). It felt very much like trying to open a locked door, knowing that I did not carry the key on my person, and knowing that I could try to open the door all I wanted--I would not, by my own self-will, be entering the room beyond.
I jotted down some notes on a potential project, and planned to share them here, but the truth is that the more I write for this decan crossing, the more I can sense and then feel the difference between a writing project and a story, for me. During Gemini 3, I had no story to author. I had the opportunity to surrender to that knowledge. What a humbling experience.
I intend to come back at a later time and write a story in honor of this decan, because I've been getting pretty excited about everything I've been learning and experiencing as a direct result of trying to do this deal (even though I've been falling behind and dropping balls and plates) and I feel emboldened and inspired by keeping up with this commitment to the decans, even if I'm not doing so in the exact way I'd planned. In fact, making accommodations for my limited energies and resources and abilities (for example, aiming to complete a story outline instead of a full first draft) has only made me feel more confidently connected to the interconnected world's creativity that I'd hoped to become a small part of by writing for this project.
Huh! Fascinating!
Thank you for reading this. Thank you for being here.
with love,
L
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